Fascination.

It never occurred to me that I would be an influential person. It never crossed my mind that I would have the power to influence anyone other than the children I would raise. But, its happening. I am happy. I am settling into my own skin, and making the changes that I need to be the woman I know I am. This is new, and nifty. My friends were first to be interested in the goings on. They wanted to know what my faith meant, what it was like, how I practiced, how I knew it was right....what it felt like. This became a discussion that grew from our back porch info session to a yearlong, thing. They shared with their family, and response back has ranged from fear to acceptance to ambivalence.
Then Rick's family got involved. Really involved. And it more of the same...however, one member has stepped up and said, my beliefs are similar to yours and maybe this is something I need to research. Its an amazing experience.
My family has stepped up with their interest. And its strange. It's almost a competition of faith, and I don't understand that.

I know that faith is intensely personal. Even the belief that there is a lack of faith is very personal. I know that the practice of faith creates judgement based on fear, or respect, or acceptance. People weigh in, wanting to share their experiences. But this is my first time out. And what I'm noticing is that the stronger I become in the faith that suits me, the more the reaction changes. When it was new, people were afraid and quick to dismiss it all. When it had hung around for a while, people became divided. When things were starting to firm up, and results were beginning to show, people became involved and emotions rode high.

Faith is the sustaining of a soul. And mine is not yours. Just as yours is not mine. And while I can quote all the things that religions tell us, and cement my point, it just doesn't seem important. What is important is knowing that I live with integrity, with intention, with joy, a bit of irreverence and responsibility.

Learning Curve

I'm doing an apprenticeship with my favoritest witch. We have a theme, meditation. I don't know how hard it is for anyone else, but its kicking my butt. She's told me that I'm a bean....I soak and soak and soak and soak, and then I sprout.
It's so true.
I've finally figured out, for myself, why its so hard. In order to properly meditate, one must focus on one's own mind. One is only able to focus on one's own mind if that person finds themselves worthy. I have not, and don't make a practice of finding myself worthy of much. Kinda sad, really. Not in the pity party kind of way, but in that what the hell have I been doing with myself kind of way. So, in doing the meditation, I have been spending time with myself. And while its hard, I now have the understanding that its hugely beneficial, and that I am worthy of my own time. Wow!

We work on witchy things, tools and Sabbats and ritual, but its the little bits of "Aha" that she slips into lessons that are really going to change my world. And it's exactly what I need.

Power in words and pyramids

Last Thursday I received my power word. And it worked!!!
For the first time ever, I sat still and meditated. For about 10 minutes. A phone rang and I lost it, but still, for 10 minutes I was somewhere beyond myself. It was amazing.

Also, my howlite pyramid and citrine clusters arrived in the mail this week. I've found myself responding to everything in a much more calm and controlled manner. I like it :)

power word!

Tonight is ritual at El Bee's. I'm excited. I'm always excited for ritual. I love the energy that fills me up and keeps me inspired and at peace for days. I love being able to be barefoot, feel Mother Earth between my toes. The heat of the fire and the chance of rain, the wind that moves through all of us. Its a beautiful thing.
Tonight we are going to receive power words. This is a word that can help us to center ourselves, or facilitate meditation. It will help us find the energy when our ass is dragging. I cannot wait!!!

I'm still working on my witch bottles. I feel that now more than ever I need to complete them. Tomorrow, while riding the energy raised from tonight, I will make the sigils that will go inside them, and write out my negatives. I will gather the remaining ingredients, and I think I will actually finish my banishment bottles on Sunday night during the new moon.
Big magicks.....sometimes scary and intimidating.

Blue Howlite

Saturday night during the full moon, I participated in a sale of crystals and stones, and other fantastic items. I was immediately drawn to this small pyramid made of blue howlite. This is not a stone that I usually feel attracted to, but oh my!!! I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I bought it. Its being shipped from Australia. I still couldn't figure out why I needed it so badly. Tonight, I think I found the reason. It's properties so closely mirror my life this past month...really these past few months. I thought i would share.

Howlite healing crystal enhances communication brings peace and balance to our lives. It is a wonderfully calming crystal, it also helps to overcome rudeness, aids us in accessing our past lives and also enhances spiritual awareness. Howlite encourages reasoning in all that we do and increases our desire for knowledge.

This crystal helps to overcome anger and stress and will calm an overactive mind. For the egocentric among us this is definitely the crystal to use. It can also be used to increase endurance and to dissolve selfishness provides us with wisdom and insight, helps us reach our goals and it also brings out our innate decency. This crystal will encourage us to be tactful and patient aids in out of body travel and discourages impertinent behaviour.

You can use this crystal’s healing abilities to aid with disorders of the teeth, aids bone structure and soft tissue, balances the calcium within our bodies either high or low depending on the situation. And aids those suffering from insomnia, also helps to eliminate pain, anger and stress.

finding a moment to be witchy while relocating

Taking a moment here and there to breathe is difficult while moving. The adrenaline, the chaos, the whining and angry outbursts, the tears and endless lists. Something always seems to be happening.
While going through boxes and sorting everything, I made sure to take a moment to put aside "new home altar items". I found quite a few things that I would like to include on my altar, as well as my family altar, in our new home. I found things to include in the blessing that will take place on the new moon. And while I was sorting and stressing and all the stuff, finding those few little moments to reflect on the Goddess, the God, and meaning of my altar, I was able to maintain order. It's the first time I've been able to do that during a move.
Blessed Be has taken on a more personal meaning. My girls and I have adopted it as our 'moving mantra'.
I like it :)

explanations and lack of filter

Today I had the opportunity to explain my faith and how I found it to someone new. And there were no stones thrown!! Fabulous! I was unaware of the dynamics of the situation when I began the conversation, but realized about halfway through that I was helping a friend come out of the broom closet, so to speak.
I liked knowing that I was helping, rather than hindering, and that maybe I could supply the words when she ran out. She means alot to me.
I also realized that through my Wiccan path I am able to recognize things in me that had previously been labeled bad, that are actually very wonderful strengths! That sometimes not having a working filter (on my thoughts) may open up a conversation that hadn't found its way out yet. :)