Learning Curve

I'm doing an apprenticeship with my favoritest witch. We have a theme, meditation. I don't know how hard it is for anyone else, but its kicking my butt. She's told me that I'm a bean....I soak and soak and soak and soak, and then I sprout.
It's so true.
I've finally figured out, for myself, why its so hard. In order to properly meditate, one must focus on one's own mind. One is only able to focus on one's own mind if that person finds themselves worthy. I have not, and don't make a practice of finding myself worthy of much. Kinda sad, really. Not in the pity party kind of way, but in that what the hell have I been doing with myself kind of way. So, in doing the meditation, I have been spending time with myself. And while its hard, I now have the understanding that its hugely beneficial, and that I am worthy of my own time. Wow!

We work on witchy things, tools and Sabbats and ritual, but its the little bits of "Aha" that she slips into lessons that are really going to change my world. And it's exactly what I need.